End of the year or What matters in the end ...

2 January 2014

I don't normally do this. And by this, I mean, blog or write or even think about "end of the year" reports, updates, etc ...

I just don't believe in them.

When I was younger I did. Everything was about beginnings and endings, where I was going, where I had been, who was in my life, who was no longer in my life, what I accomplished, what I didn't accomplish, where I had been, where I hadn't been ...

But somewhere along the way, I realized that life is more about the journey and less about the destination.

When does a year end and another begin? By a date on the calendar? By the birth of a child? By the death of a loved one? By a wild night of drinking followed with a vow to never drink again? By the germination of a seed? By the harvest?

What defines where we start and where we end?

In June of this past year I lost a very good friend. Her death was unexpected and sudden and devastating to all those who knew her. I have grieved more than I even realized I could.

Then in December our nephew died in a car accident.

I've experienced death before. I've lost loved ones and friends. I live on a farm with animals where life and death is expected and dealt with on a routine basis.

But none of that matters in the end.

All my life I've heard people say that in the end, the people that matter the most, are the people that walk through the hard times together, who support each other through thick and thin, ...

"you know who your friends are by who was there when you needed them the most ...  "

But if I learned anything in the past calendar year, if I learned anything from the death of my loved ones, I learned this.

What matters in the end is NOT our birth or death, where we go or where we've been, what we accomplish or where we fail. It's NOT the number of good times we had or the bad times that consume us. It's NOT who stands by us when we need someone the most.

What matters in the end is the journey we take and how we take it.

What matters in the end is who we journeyed with.

What matters in the end is who we stood beside when they needed us the most.

People are human. They can't always be there for us. They can't always deal with our bad times like we need them to. They can't always be the people we want them to be. We have to accept them as they are and as they come to us ... for the day, the time, the need, the life ...

All we can do is be there for them ... as other people have been there for us.

Because, in the end, that's all we have to give.